Let me get one thing straight. I am not lucky! I “jinxed” myself when I said that in my last story. I am never saying that again. This morning was NOT a good morning to be in the milk barn. First off….the boys went back to school. Second….it was freezing cold this morning. Third….I ate “cow poop”! Yes, you read that right! In. My. Mouth. I had a total meltdown right then and there!018.jpg      I just wish I would’ve had Marshall’s pellet gun. I wanted to do some serious damage to that sorry cow. We were nearing the end of milking……and in walks a “fat stale pig”. She promptly splatters “poop” everywhere. What the heck?! And why was my mouth open?! I felt it land inside my mouth. Oh….the drama! It was real! I went into a frantic spitting frenzy! I couldn’t stop! I was livid!016.jpg      I ran out into the lot yelling random things as fast as they popped into my head. They were not nice things. And I kept spitting the whole time. I think there was smoke coming out of my ears. My blood pressure was dangerously high. I then walked on over to the tank room and I gargled with some lukewarm coffee I had left in my mug. What I really needed was some bleach….iodine…..Jack Daniels…..anything to sterilize my mouth. The urge to spit wouldn’t go away. This is me….after the fact. Do I look happy? Do I have “bags” under my eyes? What am I doing? When it gets freezing cold…..we have to salve the “teats” or “tits”, as every normal dairyman calls them.  To keep them from getting frostbite. I love my job!026.jpg      So, when I finally got done with the “cursed” milking….I went to the tank room…..found a corner…..and pouted. I had stuffed my pocket with some of my Christmas chocolates. Aaahhhhh!! My only consolation for the time being. Actually, when I had calmed down a bit….Earl quietly told me to get what I need out of his wallet and go to town today. He must have known that I was teetering on the edge. I’m taking a rain check on that one….I didn’t feel like going to town. Should I wash my “chore” clothes?!012.jpg      And that’s not all. Through all of that, Marshall texted me and said that some kid threw up on his new jacket. Not a good day!  He said that he tried to wipe some of the “spots” off. Either way….it’s getting thrown in the washer tonight. They look like they just crawled out of a cave. Puffy eyes….frowns….poor Michael. He inherited my “baggy” eyes. He’s going to break my phone in half! And Marshall looks like he lost his best friend!018.jpg       Look what I found in the pasture on my way back to feed calves. A wild bandit. Running from the law. Wonder what crime he committed?! Probably owning too many dogs. Let me tell you….that wind was wicked this morning. It cut through you like a knife. 021.jpg      My face froze off…..my fingers were burning. I couldn’t decide if I should cry….scream….or fall to the ground kicking and yelling. By the time I got done feeding….I couldn’t feel any more pain. I was at peace! This is what I want. A beautiful, black fur coat like this calf has. When it gets cold….they fluff up to stay warm. I want to “fluff” too. That’s my day in a nutshell. Another milking to go before I’m done. Excuse me while I go spit out the kitchen door………………………Carol